It’s a wildly popular (and usually unfair) misconception that cats are mean, selfish, vindictive creatures who hiss and recoil even at the suggestion of human touch. While cats may be a little more aloof than their enthusiastically cuddly canine counterparts, they can still make loyal and loving companions for life—especially when their owners are equally as devoted to them.
If you’re looking to have a feline friend join your family, you may want a furry cuddle buddy of your own! Now you may have heard from online sources that male cats are more affectionate than female cats, and this piece of trivia may affect your choice considerably. But how true is it?
According to some veterinary professionals, male cats do tend to display more love and affection toward their owners and other cats in the household compared to female cats. Some cat parents also attest to this fact, citing their personal experiences with both male and female kitties. However, a cat’s breed, individual personality, upbringing, and many other factors beyond their gender also play a part in determining how affectionate a cat is.
Why Are Male Cats More Affectionate than Female Cats?
There’s no particular reason why male cats tend to be cuddlier and warmer toward humans and their fellow kitties. Some experts surmise that this may be because female cats who have not yet been spayed tend to go into heat several times throughout the year, and during those periods may be more focused on getting a mate than paying attention to their owners.
However, some female cats may actually be more affectionate when they’re in heat. They may rub against their owners more often, displaying “flirtatious” behaviors and begging for vigorous petting.
Another theory on why male cats are often more affectionate is that female cats are more independent and cautious by nature. Their motherly instinct may play a role in this; some females may possess the maternal instinct that makes them wary of humans, especially strangers.
Additionally, male cats may be more affectionate simply because they’re more playful. Male cats may lick or rub up against their owners when the urge to play or go outdoors hits them. They may want to play with other cats in the house and show their playmates more affection.
Take note, though, that gender usually doesn’t play that major of a role in how affectionate cats are. Many cat owners have female cats who are extremely clingy and prefer spending time with them to being on their own for most of the day. Ultimately, how affectionate a cat is will depend on its unique personality.
What Factors Affect a Cat’s Level of Affection?
Despite their reputation for being standoffish, research shows that cats do love their owners and fellow feline companions. However, there are several factors that determine how obvious they are about it, including:
Spaying/Neutering
Spaying and neutering your cat has a seemingly endless array of benefits, and reducing bad behaviors is among its most significant advantages.
Neutering male cats reduces their aggression and gives them a more relaxed demeanor, which may improve their behavior toward you or other cats at home.
Spaying female cats will stop their heat cycles, curbing their need to go out and find mates. Some cat owners report that their female cats become friendlier and more obedient after spaying. After all, a spayed cat will likely turn to her owner to fulfill her need for affection instead of a mate.
If you’ve already got a loving cat on your hands and you’re worried that spaying your kitty will change her behavior or temperament, don’t worry. Spaying or neutering will not change your cat’s fundamental personality—it will only help stop or lessen certain undesirable behaviors.
Breed
A cat’s breed plays a huge role in how affectionate it is. Some cat breeds make amazing cuddle buddies who will curl up beside you all day long, and others may give you the cold shoulder no matter how much you care for them.
The friendliest and most affectionate cat breeds include:
- Abyssinian
- Birman
- Burmese
- Maine coon
- Persian
- Ragdoll
- Scottish fold
- Sphynx
Color
Many surveys over the years have shown that certain cat colors tend to have a reputation for being friendlier than others. Ginger cats, in particular, are known to be quite loving and friendly. Coincidentally, most ginger cats are male—which may be why people tend to view male cats as more affectionate.
By contrast, calico and tortoiseshell cats are perceived to be more aggressive and hostile, displaying more unpredictable behaviors toward their owners.
It’s not ideal to be quick to judge a cat based on her color, though. Studies have shown that linking cat colors to personality traits have caused black, white, tortoiseshell, and calico cats to be adopted less often and abandoned more frequently. Sadly, they’re more likely to be euthanized as a result.
Socialization
A poorly socialized cat will be less loving and more aggressive. So it’s important to socialize your cat as early as 3 weeks of age to avoid unwanted behaviors and increase the likelihood of your kitty being affectionate.
However, early socialization may not be possible for some rescue or shelter cats. If you’ve recently rescued an adult or senior cat who hasn’t been socialized, don’t worry! There are still a few measures you can take to socialize your kitty, such as giving her extra attention, playing with her every day, introducing her to pets and touches, and spending as much time with her as she allows.
With proper socialization, your kitty will end up friendlier, more obedient, more relaxed, and—in some cases—more affectionate.
Upbringing
It goes without saying that cats raised in a healthy, loving environment are more likely to be kind and affectionate. While some cats raised by doting pet parents can still be quite snooty, they’re usually unafraid of humans and less likely to be aggressive.
If you’re adopting an adult cat from a rescue shelter, it’s important to be aware that she may not have been raised in the most ideal of environments. As such, she might have an unfriendly and even hostile disposition, especially in the beginning. With time and love, however, her level of affection toward you may gradually change and she may develop a strong bond with you.
Health
Many illnesses affect the way cats behave. An aloof cat may suddenly become clingy when she’s sick, while an affectionate cat may hide often and shy away from her owner’s touches.
A drastic change in your cat’s level of affection may warrant a visit to the vet, especially if it’s accompanied by other worrying symptoms.
Personality
All these factors aside, the most important contributor to a cat’s level of affection is her individual personality. Just like humans, cats have their own unique quirks and characteristics. These are usually difficult to change; an aloof cat may stay that way for the rest of her life even when showered with love and attention. Similarly, an affectionate cat is likely to be loving all throughout your years of companionship with her.
What Other Key Differences Are There Between Male and Female Cats?
The differences between male and female cats are mostly physical. Behavioral distinctions, such as their level of affection, are broad generalizations that some cats may stray from depending on their unique temperament.
Here are some of the most notable differences between male and female cats:
- Male cats are typically larger than female cats.
- Male cats have rounder cheeks; female cats have smaller, slimmer faces.
- Male cats are more active and playful; female cats are calmer and more relaxed.
- Unneutered male cats are more likely to “spray” or “urine mark” around the house, although some females do this as well.
Do Cats Get Less Cuddly with Age?
Fun fact: cats also go through puberty and hit their teenage years at around 12 to 18 months old! And just like human teenagers, teen cats may not be the biggest fans of affection during this period of their lives. Some cats outgrow this, while others maintain this disposition and prefer to spend time near their owners instead of getting up on their lap.
Once they hit their golden years, however, some cats may become more affectionate. They may become more clingy and crave affection from their owners. Other senior cats may become more detached, however. Again, this all depends on your cat’s unique personality.
How Do You Raise a Cat to be Cuddly?
Got a brand-new kitten on your hands? While you may want her to grow into the clingiest, most lovey-dovey cat, there’s no way to ensure this. However, you can make sure she grows up in a healthy environment where she knows she’s safe and loved, so she can become a calm, confident kitty.
There are a few tips you can follow to raise your kitten to become a cuddly cat, such as:
- Bottle-feed your kitten until she is 4 to 5 weeks old.
- Get your kitten used to human touch as early as possible.
- Cuddle with your kitten and keep her close to you.
- Avoid petting parts of your kitten’s body that she doesn’t like to be touched.
- Groom your kitten regularly.
- Slow blink at your cat instead of making direct, aggressive eye contact.
- Stay calm and gentle when interacting with your kitten.
- Avoid yelling at your kitten when she behaves badly; instead, redirect her attention to other toys or activities.
- Keep your kitten healthy with high-quality food and delicious treats.
Should I Choose a Male or Female Cat?
The choice ultimately depends on you. If you want a more playful and cuddly kitty who will get along famously with your other cats, then you can go with a male cat. But if you want a more independent, laid-back, and low-maintenance kitty, then a female cat might be a better option for you.
In Closing
Generally, male cats tend to be more affectionate than female cats. This may be chalked up to the playful and cuddly nature of male cats, as well as the independence and instinctual protectiveness of female kitties. However, this is not always the case: a cat’s level of affection depends more heavily on its personality and temperament rather than its gender.
No matter what gender your cat is, raising it in a healthy, loving home is the surest way to ensure it stays friendly and affectionate all throughout its life!